Conversations
by clac234
Summary: Drabble-y companion one shots of Ellis and Kate's conversations during Once Upon An Apocalypse. Please read OUAA for context! Rated T for language.


"Games?" I mused out loud. I was leaning against Ellis' shoulder on our favorite spot on the roof, enjoying the light breeze. "Let's see…anything like Grand Theft Auto, I'm always up for…although I don't seem to have enough of an attention span for the _missions_…" Ellis snorted,

"If ya never finished the game, it don't count."

"Hey, I finished!" I said indignantly. "I just…took three times as long because I kept shooting hookers…" Ellis laughed.

"Ain't that the whole point?"

"Hell yes! Whenever I was about to quit for the night, I'd save, then stockpile all the weapons I could get my hands on and go on a rampage until the cops shot me. I could usually get two or three choppers down before anyone _touched _me!"

"What, no tanks?"

"Well, yeah…but you had to cheat to get those."

"And I take it you're above all that?" I snorted.

"Of _course_ not. But hey, what's the point of only cheating to get a _tank?_" Ellis frowned.

"The hell 'r ya _talkin'_ about? That thing was badass! You could blow up _anything!_" I scoffed.

"Amateur. No, why drive a tank when you can have a flying nitro tractor of death?" He craned his neck around and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Okay…_what_ the fuck?" I sighed and faced him more completely, ticking items off on my fingers.

"You cheat to get a tractor. You cheat to give all vehicles nitro. You cheat to make all vehicles able to fly. Then you cheat to give it _the same _run-over-and-blow-up-whatever-the-hell-you-want capabilities of a tank. And if you want, you can make the damn thing drive on water."

"Hoooooly _shit_."

"What? You can't seriously tell me you never tried it!" Ellis was silent. "What about the jet pack?"

"Well, 'course I had _that_…"

"Yeah, you did. And it's boring. No weapons capabilities _what_soever. I had a flying golf cart. Did _you_ have a flying golf cart? Didn't think so." We grinned and were silent for half a second.

"So…any video games where you _weren't_ terrorizin' the population?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well, of _course_. What do you take me for?"

"A little psychotic?" I pushed him.

"_Ellis!_ I am _not_…well, okay…fine…but there _were _other games like…um…let's see. Well, that doesn't count. I shot everyone's horse _all_ the time. And zombies. Those things were the legitimate have-to-get-them-in-the-head-before-they'll-stop-trying-to-eat-your-brains type too…and there was that badass gun where you could shoot their body parts at them and make them _explode_…" I noticed the look Ellis was giving me, grinned wickedly, and shook my head. "Anyway…_Portal!_ _There_ we go!" I grinned challengingly. "Find something _psychotic_ in that!" He unsuccessfully tried to hide a laugh with a cough.

"Aw man…that's even _worse!_"

"Oh, come on, what now?" He snickered behind his hand. "_What?_"

"You're…_such…_a nerd…" he choked out. I crossed my arms and smirked.

"Oh, no…the math major is _terribly _offended!" Ellis rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah…I suppose that means the nerd thing _and_ the psychotic thing are kinda required for somethin' like that…" I smacked him again.

"You really are an ass, you know that?" He grinned.

"An ass who's _right_." I rolled my eyes and leaned back on the roof.

"Yeah, yeah, I know…what do you have against Portal anyway?"

"It's _hard_." I snorted.

"Well, no shit!"

"I was _constantly_ fallin' in acid pits…and that little son-of-a-bitch—"

"Wheatley?"

"Yeah. Him. Annoying little bugger…"

"_Just_ annoying? He tries to _kill _you!"

"_What?_ You've gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!" I laughed loudly.

"You didn't even make it past the _first_ section?" He reddened.

"Well…no…" I laughed harder. "Oh, c'mon, it ain't _that_ funny." I calmed myself down.

"Okay, okay…sorry…guess we can't _all_ be psychotic nerdy geniuses…"

"I don't recall ever sayin' 'genius'."

"You implied it. Make your peace with it."

_A/N: I may or may not expand this with further one shots (more like drabbles). In case anyone's wondering, this takes place in between Swamp Fever and Hard Rain on Virgil's boat. If you enjoyed this, make sure to check out my other L4D stories on my page (oh, and review…I make _awesome_ virtual cookies.)_


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